Greetings,

I am aware that I have not posted in quite some time. It was not intentional. Actually, I was so busy spiraling that I didn’t have any time to write up a new blog post; I hope you can forgive me. 

The spiraling was truly exhausting, and it’s a miracle that I am even writing this right now, so you’re welcome. To be more specific, I’ve been having a crisis in a few different areas of my life.

1. The breakup: I recently went through one. It needed to happen, and I know this. However, I’m feeling really fucking lonely. This person I was with was like my whole support system wrapped up into one person. They were my best friend, a crutch for me in social situations; we traveled together, lived together, and loved each other’s families. So you may be wondering why we broke up. Ya, me too. It doesn’t make any sense, but something was just not right. 
2. Friends: I went from feeling pretty great about my friendships to feeling absolutely fucking confused. I have lost a few friendships in the last year. It’s tough and sad at times. Aside from all that, just trying to figure out how to have adult friendships is bizarre. I don’t just see my friends at school every day, so I guess we have to text to make plans? We’re both busy, so that’s hard to do? It’s just a mess. 
3. Career: I graduated a little over a year ago, and I still have no fucking clue what I’m doing with my life. I feel stagnant, stuck, and angry that I’m not progressing faster. I told my therapist the other day that I feel like White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland; you know, the one in the waistcoat with the pocket watch. I feel as though I’m behind and late in life, which sends me into a state of panic. 

Anywho, that’s my synopsis and doctor’s note as to why I went radio silent. Apologies again. Also, when I googled ‘How to Start a Blog’ a while back, It definitely did not advise intermittently posting when your mental health allowed. Oh well, we shall prevail and move forward because it’s a fucking process, and we’re all learning. 

I am trying to remain positive, which is easier said than done, but the one thing I know is that I always survive even when it feels like I won’t. We are much more resilient than we think. Perhaps we should all try to be more like Alice and not let society influence our expectations of ourselves. Why not embrace all of the unpredictable twists and turns of life? I don’t know about you, but I believe everything happens for a reason, and what will be, will be.

Yours Truly,

A Growing Girl